Hand-written · Posted from the UK
Send someone
a lemon.
A hand-written lemon in the post. Funnier than a card, cheaper than flowers, and impossible to ignore. From £4.99, delivered anywhere in the UK.
Actual lemon. Actual Sharpie. Actual Royal Mail.
How it works.
01
Write your message.
Pick a preset or write your own — up to 60 characters. Sweet, silly, savage. Your call.
02
We Sharpie it by hand.
One human. One marker. One lemon. We wrap it carefully and pop it in the post.
03
It lands on their doormat.
Royal Mail 1st class, 2–4 working days. Their face is the best bit.
Perfect for…
Cards get binned. Flowers wilt. A lemon with a message stays on someone's kitchen counter until it starts to worry them.
🎂
Birthdays
The card everyone else forgot to send.
💔
Break-ups
Closure. In fruit form.
🧑💼
Bosses & colleagues
Say it with citrus, not HR.
🫂
Best friends
The inside joke that arrives by post.
One product. One price.
£4.99
Lemon, hand-writing, packaging and 1st class UK postage. All in.
People love a lemon in the post.
“Sent one to my best mate for her birthday. She cried laughing and put it on her mantelpiece.”
“Cheaper than a card. Ten times funnier. My group chat has not recovered.”
“Got one anonymously. Spent three days working out who. Loved every minute of it.”
“Arrived on my ex's birthday. It said 'congratulations, I guess.' No notes.”
Names changed. Feelings very much real.
Reasonable questions.
- Is this real? Do I actually get a lemon?
- Yes. A real lemon. Hand-written in Sharpie by an actual person. Wrapped and posted first-class Royal Mail from the UK.
- How long does it take to arrive?
- We write and post within 2 working days. First-class Royal Mail usually lands the next day after that. So 2–4 working days door to door.
- Is it really anonymous?
- Yes. No sender name on the packaging. Nothing tying it to you. Unless you tick 'reveal me after 7 days' — your call.
- Can I send one to my boss?
- We admire your courage. (Keep it playful, not threatening — see below.)
- What can't I write?
- No threats, no slurs, no addresses. Anything that reads as menacing gets flagged and refunded. Everything else is fair game.
- Do you deliver internationally?
- Not yet. UK only. Britain has enough passive-aggression to service for now.